First, just read this! It's the best I can find on what it's like being a new mum.
For the Mum...
When you are a new Mum you feel like you get nothing done. This article might make you feel a little better...
Peppermint tea! Excellent for keeping your breath fresh and easy to drink during night feeds, early morning wake ups and so forth. A friend brought me some in hospital and I was hooked!
Tena lady pants for the hospital. I was given a packet with a wink but they really were the most vital thing I needed during my hospital stay. They saved time and were very easy to get on and off.
I have never been one to count calories, but I have been worried about my eating lately because I am so hungry all the time! Apparently this is normal and ok - when breastfeeding you burn an extra 500 calories (2000 kilojoules) per day - that's 4 x pieface meat pies! A calorie converter is here.
My mind of course turns to eating and then exercise, with all of those stars getting back to 'bikini ready' within six weeks of birth - well I know it will be longer than that for me, I am only starting around now at 6 weeks! I think this article fits in with my approach.
I gave birth at a funny time, 11.57pm on a Thursday, and I was out of the hospital by the Monday. That means I didn't really get much advice in terms of the 'everyday' stuff because staff are generally 'light on' during weekends - YouTube has been an excellent help for me! This includes learning to breastfeed on my side, bathe, even settle my baby! Every day is a learning experience, and the more I read and watch the more I learn! Such as...
Learning about what the different cries mean! Wish I had heard of this earlier...
Playing with your newborn (once she woke up I wasn't sure what to do!):
This one's a little crazy but it did actually teach me to breastfeed lying down!
Do you have to express? I do. Here is a fantastic and inexpensive trick you can use to make it hands free - I find it actually works!
Sometimes my baby cries during breastfeeding. This article has helped me work that out, well a little!
Wind... I had no idea upon leaving hospital how important it would be to learn to wind and burp my baby! The official word these days (well at least in Australia) is not to worry about burping... after getting up many times in the night to help my baby's pains I disagree!
This article that discusses how your diet while breastfeeding may help to reduce wind and associated crying. I did not believe this until the day after I ate alot of broccoli, where my (mostly) sweet and mild baby became a raging handful!
My little one had some troubles gaining weight and we had to supplement with formula early on. These bottles by Mixie make it so easy, and are now available in Australia.
If you use Apple products... Apple Dictation! It seems that sending emails (or typing with two hands) is now impossible... Apple Dictation has saved me on that front, I can just talk into my iPhone or desktop computer and it accurately turns it into text for me - and the more you use it, the better it gets at recognising your voice!
Sleep? Not getting much? Either way, when you go along to your Mothers Group you will quickly realise much of the conversation had is about sleep (or lack of) and approaches. I like this article because you can also watch the video and it feels like you are in the room listening - also good to pass on to partners and inlaws who seem to be leaning a little heavily on sleep aids.
We have not had too hard a time with sleep (yet) but I remain mindful and open to all approaches to sleep! Video below:
I will keep adding to this as it all happens, nothing ever seems properly finished when you have a newborn!
For the Baby...
Well my baby, I'm not sure about yours - but here are some things that have really helped us (and basically I knew nothing about before)...
Love me swaddle suit - I knew that fumbling a wrap in the middle of the night would not suit me, I still use them in the daytime but at night I use a swaddle suit. These are awesome - I have 5, but you could easily get away with 3 or 4.
Air Cocoon Pouch - apparently the most lightweight swaddle available - I need to be ready for this Sydney Summer!
And breathable swaddles for Summer! Looking good...
Burp cloths! These don't seem to be such a big thing in Australia (we seem to just use face washers) but I love these! I bought these on etsy and they are gorgeous, they give me pleasure every time I use them.
Dummy Clip! Of course these are available around the place but look pretty tacky. Again I bought this on etsy and it's easy to use and so good looking!
Swing - I didn't even know these existed. I really like this Chicco Polly Swing that I bought off eBay because it folds up when not in use. We don't use it as a sleep aid, but we use it every day - and it frees us up so we can do other things!
Anything with a zip! It took me a while to work this out.. but wow how easy it is to simply zip your little one into their clothes instead of fumbling with all those snapping buttons? Genius! This one is by purebaby.
A sling! This is great for keeping your baby close, and is so convenient when you have to get out for a quick walk to the letterbox or need both hands free for typing or a phone call! My husband loves wearing ours and it's a great chance for our little one to snuggle with their dad :) This one is by Beep Beep - Georgie Armstrong, I admit I bought mine very cheaply from gumtree.
And a sling for the water, or shower! Fantastic if you live in an apartment like us and don't have a bath...
Finally, keep random bottles of water around your house and boil the kettle almost every time you walk past, it sounds strange but you'll be surprised when you need it!
How to help someone with a newborn...
I needed this advice most because I did not grow up around people having little ones. I did however know that I wanted to be helpful to my friends and family when they had a new baby! Looking back now, I feel a little guilty, but I admit it was more out of ignorance than anything else. These of course are personal observations and tips but it may come in handy for you...
- Don't buy white things / white towels for your pregnant friend. Caring for a little one is the least pure thing in the world. I find that I never have quite enough whites to wash them seperately, then I fret about ruining these lovely white gifts and don't end up using them / washing them and turning them grey. Go for colour or neutrals, unless there is a housekeeper or nanny available!
- If you are not sure of a good gift for a pregnant friend, wait until the baby is born, then wait at least 2 weeks. There is a fair bit of scrambling (well in many ways) when a new baby comes along, and when the initial flush of newborn starts to pass one realises there are bits and pieces that need purchasing... now. So simply wait, then ask, you and your gift will be both appreciated and utilised! For instance I really needed singlets, socks and sleeping bags (but how was I to know?) - and I am very grateful to my family who quickly snapped them them for me when the baby was born!
- Bring food - but ask first. Some people have a small freezer (like me!) This is before we get to other things like dietary requirements. So ask what they like, and don't just cook it, package it in portions for eating. If you are not much of a cook, simply grab a loaf of bread and milk when heading over (along with some washing powder, always handy!) and it will never go astray. I never ate alot of bread before my baby but believe me, it's so easy to make a quick piece of toast and a cup of tea right now... back on the low carb diet later!
Sweet things are also good (sorry anti-sugar fanatics!) This is not the time to worry about such things, if you can bake a slice or some granola I'm sure it will be welcomed by hungry and tired tummies!
- Give your time. Head over so the new mum can have a shower, make an uninterrupted phonecall, even go out for a walk to run errands on her own. Help to fold washing, or put away dry dishes, take the rubbish and recycling to the bin. Offer to walk with her and the baby. Give her your ear, listen, soothe and empathise. I can think of one friend who simply asks 'What can I do to help you right now?' and I immediately relax and breathe a sigh of relief. You might not even have to stay for long, but this type of help is golden! What a great way to strengthen a friendship!
Some other ideas are here.
Again.. I'll keep updating this as a mother's work is never really done :)