Tani and Cesar get married!

Yesterday I had the joy in seeing one of my oldest friends again... and also to be present at her sister's wedding! Tania Van Der Water became Mrs Tania Bassee (need to check the spelling) - what a beautiful day!


Everything was black and white... and once inside the venue it felt like you were in a fairyland!


Tania looked gorgeous in her white confection...


And the back looked special too!


Cesar arrived on time...


And everyone felt a little nervous!


Michelle was last to get ready...


And the whole family sparkled!


Here comes the bride!


It was hard to get photos inside because it was so dark, but here is one of the happy bride and groom.


Three beautiful bridesmaids...


Everyone enjoyed the day, especially the cocktail bar and Argentine BBQ!


It was such a happy and special day.

Lots of love and light to Tani and Cesar... and see you again soon Michi!!

x

Turning thirty...

I recently turned thirty, but I have been putting off writing anything about it because I have been off my blog! But here are a few thoughts: -

Things I have learned on my journey to thirty...

- There will always be empty bottles in the bathroom

- Help won't come unless you ask for it, ever!
I remember at around 21 or 22 telling those around me that nothing that bad had ever happened to me, it's true I could have been smug. I had spoken too soon - there were some big changes to come. With those changes came some terrible loneliness, mainly because I couldn't articulate what sort of help I needed!

- When it feels like things are going wrong, try and walk a mile in someone else's shoes.
It's surprising how many of us forget to think about what it would actually be like to be somebody else. As I have grown, I have realised we are all here, trying the very best we can. Most of us have only the best of intentions, and very few of us actually take glee in hearing of another's misfortunes. That can be hard to remember...but...

- I actually have less stuff now than I have ever had before.
It's funny, thinking about all the stuff I used to have. I used to have tonnes of it! I finally got it down to one ute load, two moves ago. And I have never been happier. I can find things, I hold only onto the best I have, and I honestly believe I am one of the luckiest people ever!

- Men, when asked to clean, will clean floors first, always!

- Things change, and when they do, they change really quickly.
Think Joan Didion and The Year of Magical Thinking.

- I believe I have aged quickly in the last three years, but have also gained wisdom.
Much of it's been tough, particularly the 2 years after the assault. Basically, I am sick of tiptoeing around the actual impact this has had on my life. I look in the mirror and it's quite plain I am no longer as young nor naive, and much of my sparkle had disappeared. All of this had the potential to destroy me, and a day hasn't passed where it hasn't shadowed me, even briefly. But I feel so much joy now the matter has passed and I realise it's in my power to get on with my life. Not withstanding a bad nightmare here and there...

- I have been skinny skinny and much too comfy curvy in my twenties.
And you can be skinny and anxious and chubby and happy... I don't think weight has much to do with it... but I simply refuse to look back on my life when I'm older and think I have dieted for 20 or something years... I have never said no to a good meal...

- The 'creative' friends you make often end up crazy and mean.
I have had so many faaabulous friends. They have been hilarious, unpredictable and full of endless ideas and opinions. Then often, they treated me just as badly as I saw them treat their other friends, and I was often left feeling shocked, sorry and full of questions. Do I sound bitter? Well the good news is I don't actually feel that bad about it, but remembering, yes, it raises my ire and I wish to warn others! Well, these days my friends seem to be much more stable, as I am, and they are very nice people.

- It's easy to lose the ones you love when you or they work too much.
This includes talking constantly about work, being 'absent' even though you are in the room, and bringing work home is a routine, not an exception. Mostly boring!

- I don't smoke anymore, but I used to really like it.
Lots and lots and I smoked many many packs! I smoked before work, between courses, in front of my parents (eventually) and basically, when I was given any excuse!! These days even if I light up when drunk I almost vomit. This would be very hard for people around me to believe... but it's true and it makes me happy!

-Envy is a waste of time and energy
I know, it's so simple, I know, but it's worth saying. I've worked with enough wealthy have-it-all 20 somethings to know much of it is to look good, not be good. Or it is brought on by wealthy or well-connected parents. To me it seems to be a knot that gets tighter and tighter then becomes difficult to undo. Read Affluenza or Richistan and get on with it.

- I'm 30 and I don't have a permanent job.
As a child of baby boomers, this probably causes me the most anxiety in my life. I simply try and not look too far into the future... and in reality, I have been in permanent contract work of some type for 5 years this October! That's not to say I'd like a bit of job security as I look to the future... and it's so hard to make plans when you have no idea where you'll be in 12 months time...

- Love and listening is the best support you can give.
Thanks Mark, my mio bello (yes I know it's bad Italian grammar.) And thanks friends and family, I'm glad to have made it. There have been a few times I almost didn't and I don't say it lightly. Shit happens.

My direction from here is I'm still trying to create a small and perfect life, I feel much more with it these days and I have gotten much better at taking life one moment at a time.

There is only 24 hours in a day and I like to live and breathe all I can of it... thanks for playing your part in getting me to thirty.

Laura xx

PS This last year hs been the best of my life!

"Make the future better by making the most of the past." Goethe

Willing AND Able !

Today Mark went to and bought us a 'splitter' which now means we have a computer network in our house and we can both use our computers at the same time! Exciting!

Guess I'll have no excuses to avoid work now... geez x

Killer Recipe No. III

God, these little babies are as close as you will get to a creme brulee-type crust on top without much effort at all! Go forth and create!

LEMON PUDDINGS

90g soft butter (must be soft!)
1 1/2 cups caster sugar
1 1/2 cups milk
3 eggs
1/2 cup of lemon juice
1/2 cup of plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder (or baking soda)

- Preheat oven to 180 degrees celcius
- Place all ingredients in a large bowl
- Using a 'Food Processor Stick / Wand' Combine all the ingredients so it forms a runny liquid
- Pour into patty cases / greased ramekins
(It would be fine to do this before guests arrive for a dinner party, then just chuck them in the oven at the last minute so they are fresh)

- Bake for 20-25min, or until puddings are really golden on top
- Take from oven and stand for 5min (they will shrink a little)
- Serve with cream or vanilla ice cream

From: The Instant Cook by Donna Hay

End of Summer

On Australia Day a Cocky came to visit us on the 7th floor! Mark gave him a piece of bread.


Cocky had a nibble.


Mark and Cocky made friends pretty quickly.


We hope he comes to visit more often.

The end of Summer Holidays! It always comes too quick, and the last 10 days or so have been just blissful as I have finally relaxed properly and let my daily routine flow a bit. Let's just say I can't wait for retirement!

It's been a strange one in Sydney, with only one day over thirty degrees so far this summer, TRUE! But this has its benefits as well... less sunburn, emptier beaches, calmer tempers. In fact, here in Potts Point it is so quiet, one could imagine the whole of Sydney has up and left for a beach holiday elsewhere... more likely they are just at work!

Mark and I have been well, he has been back at work for what seems like ages and it was difficult at first, I felt so bored, and almost guilty I had this extra time! We have a swim in the pool most afternoons and enjoy reading and cooking together. Of course he was totally chuffed by the visiting cockatoo and we are still waiting for him to come back.. Hopefully soon!

Sydney seems chock full of interesting things to do right now and if anything it's just a shame they are not spread a little more evenly throughout the year so it can be more affordable! Mark and I went to The Opera House on Friday night to see Joanna Newsom play with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra and I was nothing short of blown away by her talent, her ability, her looks, her accompanists... I was transported to some other place where things are so much more creative and sheltered and nicer and brighter and darker as well... but she is just one amongst a whole throng of potentially interesting artists to see in Sydney right now...

It's been a great summer, I really couldn't ask for much more right now...

So I pack my bag and head back off to work tomorrow and the funny stories will start again and my mind will become crowded once more with worries beyond choosing which book to read or how long to leave conditioner in my hair.

Tis been wonderful chaps x

I HEART: Expresso Coffee and milk blended over ice with two sugars, lychees, mangoes, making my own face scrubs, afternoon harbour breezes, resting on my special cushion and reading the paper, the kind intentions of our Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, thinking about my 30th birthday, my new satay chicken recipe!

I DON'T HEART: Forms, the various charity collectors who 'chat you up' outside Potts Point Woolworths, the idea that spiders have crawled in my window and onto my head!

How to Apologise

Having a nice long holiday has given me a chance to reflect on the last few years of my life and seek out some further information in areas I'd like to grow.
It would be fair to say that I grew up in a family devoid of the ability to apologise effectively, so I'd like to learn how to say sorry properly, and also receive apologies gracefully!
I have found this passage below very helpful, and I think there are many many people out there who could make use of this advice so our world is a more peaceful place.

Adapted from: Choosing Happiness by Stephanie Dowrick

A genuine apology is a powerful thing. it affects both the person giving it and the person receiving it, making way for healing and moving on as nothing else can.
Here's how to do it.
Look at the person and say 'I am sorry to have hurt you.'

Do not convey through your body language or tone of voice that you are not really sorry; that you resent apologising, or that you may be apologising but you will soon repeat the wrong.

An apology carries weight only when it is not forces, when you believe it and you also believe you have learned something and will not do again whatever caused hurt or harm.

An apology needs to be clean, short, simple and genuine. And it needs to be supported by a change in insight and behaviour.

There may be times when someone is clearly hurt by something you have done or that they believe you have done - but you know that they misread you or your good intentions.

It may be, for example, that your best friend is hurt because when she told you about her promotion you paid very little attention and went on to talk about something else. You were careless, but not deliberately hurtful.

Breakdowns in good communication happen frequently. protesting about someone else's reaction, telling them that they 'have no reason to be hurt', getting irritated because they are hurt, is never helpful.

It is possible to say, very simply, 'I am so sorry that you are upset,' without taking pon apprpriate guilt or shame. You may also want to add 'That certainly wasn't my intention,' but the crucial point is that you acknowledge the hurt, and express your concern that they are hurt, without attacking them or going into elaborate self-justifying.

And when someone apologises to you?
Accept it gracefully and gratefully. Do not ask yourself whether you need to go on sulking for another week, or whether you can make them suffer as much as you have.

If someone is routinely apologising without changing their behaviour this is a relationship issue and needs urgent attention.

Apologies - given or received - weave their magic only when they bring a little wisdom and are accompanied by changed action as well as insight.